Sunday, June 22, 2008

Can I Believe?

We are already half way through June and I can't help myself. I am hopeless.

It is an immutable fact that I am incapable of changing. Yet I have been burned so many times before!
It is not a matter of the glass being half full or half empty. It seems that the glass just always ends up empty.

Oh, how I have been hurt in the past. All too often I can remember feeling a pain that was so wrenching and so beastly that all I could do was writhe and whimper in my chair. It usually happened in August or September. I had committed a transgression that far exceeded those of Adam and Eve, Judas or Bill Buckner. I started to believe. And I would pay.

It can happen so easily. You tell yourself, "just once." Yes, I'd convince myself I could actually enjoy one and not become hooked. It seems so innocent. Why not enjoy it? I deserve a little relief from the daily wear and tear of life, work or whatever. But inevitably one would lead to more, and more, and more. It would become a crazy and all consuming addiction. It would always lead to a period of deep depression and sadness.

But I am not the only one. Yes there are millions of people doing it right now. They are from every part of the country and every possible demographic, income level, religion and social strata. There is a great and growing reason for it, and you can find it almost anywhere in the country.

And it is so easy to do. It starts with just a little peek (it is best if you feign interest). Then your involvement quickly grows and grows. And it has happened practically every year since I was born.

My most vivid memory was a feeling of great hope and exceptional excitement; a high of all highs, like walking on air. Then a black cat imposed a curse that brought everything crashing to the ground. It is bad enough that we were already under the eternal curse of a goat! Yet another time fate was decided by an inexplicable error which turned ecstasy into profound disappointment. Then another time a bystander reached out and snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. My heart still burns.

Will this be the year? Will history be made? Will the curse end?

Let's see, today is only June and I am already hooked.

Go Cubs, go!

Oh darn.

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